There's only one other D/s relationship that Master and I know of personally - a gay couple in town. Master says that O is "intrinsically submissive" to E. I haven't watched those two in action very much, so I don't really know what he's talking about. Still, maybe I should talk to O and see what being submissive entails for him.
It goes back to what I posted about before - sometimes I feel more submissive than other times. Indeed, sometimes I feel decidedly un-submissive. The problem with this is that it makes Master feel like he's not doing his "job" right - like he doesn't really matter, because I'll just be submissive when I feel like it.
Which is not good. Obviously.
I think this is more of a "me having a bad personal flaw" thing instead of a "me not being cut out to be a submissive" thing. When I was in a non-D/s relationship in high school, one of my girlfriend's only (but persistent) complaints was that I wasn't putting as much energy into the relationship as she was. The same thing is happening here, I think. I'm not putting as much energy into being a sub as Master is into being a Dom.
Because let's face it - being a sub isn't just about lying back and taking a spanking. It's hard work. It requires constant mental discipline. Which is probably the one thing I lack most.
So. I need to do better from now own. I need to be more diligent; I can't allow myself to get lazy.