Wednesday, October 19, 2011

For science!

One of the unexpected benefits of having multiple sexual partners is that we can talk about and compare our bodies and our sexual preferences; the differences between us are often fascinating.

For example, my vagina is deeper than Lupa's; this is probably why we enjoy different sensations when being penetrated. She prefers ribs and bumps and textures, while I prefer smooth, deep, hard fuckings. As another example, Gene has a bigger clit than I do, which means oral techniques that drive her wild just don't work on me.

The other fun thing about my sexual partners is that I have more people to learn from. Not too long ago I was having sexytime with Lupa and Ume, and when I gestured for Lupa to start sucking off Ume, she hesitated. "I actually don't know very much about how to do that," she admitted.

"All right, lesson time!" Ume said, sitting up. What followed was a brief anatomy lecture on the parts of the male genitalia and the relative sensitivity of each part. He then showed us a handjob technique he called "Five-Star Exploding Palm Technique" that I have to try out on Master next time we're together.

I know that when people say someone approaches sex "academically," they mean it as an insult. But for me and my lovers, it's the opposite; we love learning, we're curious people, and we enjoy engaging each other intellectually as well as - and sometimes at the same time as - sexually. (The subject line is often the "excuse" we provide when we suggest a new sexual activity.)

I don't know how common this attitude is in the population at large. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in our own little kinky/poly world that I forget we're not the norm. For example, I recently read a study that found the median "ideal number" of sexual partners for both men and women was one. Only one?! I thought. That can't be right! It's gotta be two or three. Then I remembered - most people do that whole monogamy thing. Oh yeah...

I need to be careful not to have my worldview lose the wider perspective. That would be unscientific. :)

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

New experiences

I had my first orgy over the weekend.

There were nine people including me, two of whom I'd never met before that night (but were quite lovely people, really).

There wasn't very much fucking going on, actually - but a tooon of oral. I didn't mind in the least, of course; I adore both giving and receiving from both sexes. There was lots of giggling and hardly any awkwardness, which means that I feel secure declaring the orgy a resounding success. Huzzah!

I think I am getting used to Master and me being not-primaries. I didn't feel the need to be all up on him the entirety of the orgy (and the party leading up to it), and I didn't get super-depressed about the short amount of time we had together.

I think that now the expectation that we will eventually live together - that we should live together - has been lifted, I'm starting to relax. I still get bummed out about it sometimes, to be honest, but it's getting better. Slowly, it is getting better.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Quality instead of quantity

I discovered this post on What Kind of Submissive Are You? My brief answers:

  1. How much do you like being owned? That is an 8-10 to me. I get a real thrill knowing that I am Master's pet, and his alone.
  2. How much do you like to serve? 5-7. Sometimes I enjoy serving Master, but other times I prefer to be pampered by him.
  3. How much do you want to be degraded, yelled at, called "dirty" or a "slut"? 4-8. This one varies wiiiidely. On the one hand, I love it when he calls me his "slut" and his "cum bucket" and other sexually-charged things like that. On the other hand, I hate hate hate being called stupid, or a bitch, or things like that that aren't explicitly sexually charged.
  4. How much do you want to be tied down and restrained? 10!!! This is my favorite - both physically and psychologically!
  5. Do you want or need to be beaten? I'd say this is an 8. I really crave a good spanking, but I'm pretty sure I'm a wuss compared to a lot of subs when it comes to physical punishment.
  6. How much do you like to be fucked? 10!!! BDSM and sex are pretty closely tied for me.
  7. How much do you desire to be given away? 5. On the one hand, I like the fantasy of it. On the other hand, I would not want it to mean I couldn't be with Master anymore, and I wouldn't want it to be with someone I wouldn't have sex with on my own anyway. (So it's a pretty select list, when you get down to it.)