It works out

Offbeat Home featured a fun post about how to appropriate the Iron Gym for other kinds of exercise. Master has one of these nifty fellers, and that immediately got me thinking.

-I wouldn't trust this as a swing; it's not meant to be permanent, and it's not meant to, um, swing on.

-I think this could work as a spreader bar, too. Maybe stick one's head through the middle part for a pseudo-yoke thing?

-However, I think having it in the doorway, and then having one's wrists tied to it, would be the best use. Now that neither of us are living in a place with exposed pipework in the ceiling, it's not as easy for Master to string me up, and I miss the sensation. While it didn't involve actual suspension, often times I would feel like I was dangling - like when I wanted to fall over from whatever he was doing, but was forced to remain at least partially erect.

Once Master gets his own place (he's in the process of moving), we'll have to try it out. Or I could get my own Iron Gym - they're quite useful for non-sexual reasons too, I've discovered. :)

Differentiation

Master and Tapeti came to visit for V-Day! It was super-exciting; I got the most play I've had in a good long time, and we got to try new things too.

First Master blindfolded me, and I had to guess whether he or Tapeti was using the crop on me. I guessed right. :) Then Tapeti and I switched places, and she was able to guess correctly, too. In the final game, Master was blindfolded, and he had to taste both our pussies and guess which was with.

Someone - I can't remember who - suggested tying Master's hands so he couldn't grab us, which might clue him in (Tapeti and I have rather different body types). I sort of ran with the idea and came up with a rather clever (if I may say so) way to tie Master's arms spread-eagle on the bed.

I've come to realize I really like the aesthetic of a man with his arms spread-eagle like that. I think it's because it shows off his chest and shoulders, which are the parts I like most and find the most masculine, yet he is simultaneously very vulnerable. I like the juxtaposition, the tension, of two normally exclusive traits.

Even after Master guessed correctly (despite our best efforts to stay silent, he could distinguish us by the sounds we made), we didn't untie/unblindfold him right away. Instead we teased him, went down on him, etc. It was funny how hungry he was - lunging up when he thought we were in kissing distance, straining against the ropes, and so on. I made a point of staying out of his reach; I got a mischievous pleasure out of it, knowing that normally I wouldn't be allowed to get away with it. And when we finally loosed him! It was amazing.

I think that, while I'm not really big on domming, I do enjoy topping, in a bratty, teasing kind of way.

Lapse

Goodness, it's been a while since I posted here. Shame on me!

I acquired a set of nipple clamps on my most recent trip to visit Master. I haven't tried them yet - we didn't get the opportunity to before I left. I'm tempted to take them out and try them on, perhaps take a few pics and send them to Master and Tapeti, but it just feels weird to do kinky stuff to myself. It's like tickling oneself; it just doesn't work.

Logically, that doesn't make a whole lot of sense - I mean, I have no issues whatsoever with having sex by myself. Hell, I go stir-crazy without it! Yet even though I go similarly stir-crazy when deprived of kink, I can't do the kink equivalent of masturbation. It just does nothing for me. Woe!

Anyway, back to the visit with Master. He did a great predicament bondage - he ran a line of clothespins down either side of my tits and tied the line off at my collar, so if I thrashed my head around too much while he was smacking me (which I am wont to do), I'd accidentally unzip myself. That was genius. However, he accidentally hit my pussy while flogging me (I was in a position where it was pretty exposed), and that really hurt. :( Pussy torture is not something I like. It definitely crosses into "OH GOD SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG" hurting.

I get to see both Master and Tapeti in just a few weeks. Joy!

The right crowd

I went to a kink demo for the first time earlier this week. It was at a goth club in my home city, and I was shockingly un-anxious about the entire thing. Whenever I've considered the possibility of meeting with actual members of "the community" outside of my immediate circle of friends, I get nervous and antsy and psych myself out before I even do it.

When I actually did go, however, I felt completely at ease. This was probably because I was there with several of my friends already, so I wasn't "alone." The drinks I imbibed also probably helped. But I think the biggest thing is that "the community" isn't actually scary. I mean, no scarier than me and my friends - 'cause we're actually already part of the community anyway! You'd think I would have figured this out before, but apparently not.

Anyway, on to the actual demo. The suspension guy was awesome; his knotwork was incredible, and he exuded such competence that I would totally have him hang me upside-down. It made me want to try more suspension; Master and I have never really done much other than tying my arms to a water pipe to slightly take the weight off my feet - nothing much at all. We were constrained by a lack of resources as much as a lack of experience. But one day I'd like to try a full-body suspension like what the guy at the club demonstrated. It looked so comfortable! Considering how much I love swings and hammocks and high places, I imagine I'd love it.

There were two dommes there who did more standard kinky stuff - impact play, wax play, cuffs and spreader bars, clamps, and the occasional judicious application of a vibrator (outside the panties, natch). I've never seen such proficient use of a flogger before; watching them and listening to the SMACK! that resounded with each strike made me weak in the knees. Lupa had to hold me up! (And then she proceeded to NOT HELP AT ALL by whispering about all the nasty mean things she wanted to do to me in my ear.)

Tapeti got her birthday spankings, and her bottom was a beautiful kaleidoscope of colors by the time they were done. The poor dear - I made her jump each time I unconsciously patted her bottom. >:3

Alas, I wasn't able to be on the receiving end of either the dommes or the suspension guy. Maybe next time I'll get the chance. 'Cause I'm definitely going there again; I haven't had that much fun at a bar or a club since... probably ever!

Finally!

Lupa and I visited Master this past weekend, and at last Master and I had an intensive play session. I was stressed out because my car was having troubles and I needed to travel 300+ miles the next day, so I asked Master if he could tie me up and help me relax.

He tied my wrists together and then bound them between my ankles; I felt very much like a trussed chicken (and, according to Master, looked like one, too), which made me feel both very silly and very vulnerable. I was also mildly embarrassed, which I liked; it added an extra shot of adrenaline.

Master spanked me for a bit, then pulled out a wood paddle that he found in one of the college dormitories, of all places. I've always found paddles to be rather intimidating; we don't use them often, and they look a lot more like actual weapons than other implements do, in my opinion. And do they ever sting! I haven't had a proper spanking in too long, so it was tough for me to take what Master dished out, but I think Master could tell, as he wasn't nearly as mean as he could have been.

My hands eventually started to go numb (I was lying on my side and my legs were squishing them), so Master loosed them and had me suck his cock for a while. At some point during all this, Lupa knocked and Master let her in. He wanted to show her what a lovely little pet he had - and she naturally wanted to play, too! So we got her out of her clothes right quick, and Master fucked both of our brains out while we used each other's shoulders and thighs as gags. Om nom nom. Lupa has a nice line of bruises now that I get to poke.

At one point, before Lupa joined in, Master ordered me to describe in detail what I was going to do with his cock. I'm often shy/awkward about dirty talk, which he's been trying to help me get over - but when I get all submissive and kitten-y I tend to get tongue-tied, so for a while all I could do was stammer, "Um, ah, Imma... um..." Master gently grasped my chin, turned my head to the side, and slapped my cheek. It wasn't very hard - the brief sting was nothing compared to what he does to my ass - but it was very... profound. It reinforced Master's dominance just as effectively, if not more so, than even a hard spanking.

"Use your words, Kitten," Master chastised. When I didn't get my act together quickly enough, he slapped me again, and finally my tongue was loosened enough to give a timid, but adequate, description of how I'd taste his cock.

Master had never slapped me before, and I distinctly remember thinking it was a hard limit of mine not too long ago. But I wasn't bothered by it at all; it was unexpected, sure, and I was pushed pretty deep into subspace from it, but not in a bad way. Perhaps I would have been set off if he'd done it harder, but Master didn't use much force at all; I imagine he was trying to go for a psychological effect instead of a physical one.

Interestingly, when he slapped my right cheek I didn't really flinch, but I shied away rather violently when he tried to slap my left cheek. (He just did the right cheek again, instead.) I think it's because I was in a play two years back in which I had to get slapped by another actor, and my right cheek was the one that was slapped. And we practiced that scene a lot - until I wouldn't flinch, since my character didn't know it was coming, even though I did. I had no idea that training was still ingrained in me.

Anyway, in all it was a lovely session. :)

Breath of fresh air

I recently participated in a photo shoot for C, a friend of mine. It was a "Last Supper"-esque tableau of several people in various states of undress doing kinky/bizarre things. My assigned role was pseudo-suspension; another student, H, who's a fellow shibari enthusiast rigged up a chest harness, tied my bent leg up to my chest, and then threw the slack over a hook in the ceiling while I sat on a cleverly-hidden stool. When the time came to take the picture, I wrapped the slack around my wrists, stood up so I was balancing on one foot, and voila! - the appearance of suspension without the actual hassle.

This was the first time since Master left that I got to participate in significant shibari, and it reminded me exactly what I love about it. The feeling of the rope against my skin, the meditative aspect of waiting patiently while all the knots are secured, and the aesthetic appeal of the ropes were all delicious, even though the sexual aspect was stripped as much as possible from the situation. (This was for art, after all; we needed to stay professional. Or as professional as one can be when frolicking around a room, naked.)

But the artistic atmosphere lent its own appeal. I love art, and I love performance, and I love consciously trying to pose my body in a way that is artistic. The concept of the body (male and female) as a work of art is one that I enjoy exploring; the human form was my favorite subject of my own photography, and one I was most successful in shooting, I think. So I got an intellectual thrill (and a way to indulge my vanity) from the shoot, too.

I wasn't the only one trussed up; Z, another friend of mine (who played the role of the "supper") was hog-tied on the table while wearing nothing but stilettos and panties. H used a technique that I don't think Master has ever used on me; it involved a series of loops - I think she called the knot a butterfly knot - around Z's arms, which were held extended behind her back. The results were breathtaking; it basically was one of these made out of rope. Having the rope loop around the heels of Z's stilettos (one of my favorite images when viewing shibari) only added to the awesomeness. (Z was also very pleased, of course.)

I'd known before then that H was interested in shibari, but I'd never really seen her work before, and I was blown away (as I told her many times). I kind of want to ask her to tie me up again - just tie me up and let me bask in the sensation for a while, maybe take some pictures for posterity - but she's a very shy woman and we're not terribly close. I think it'd be too awkward. However, when C found out I enjoy being tied up and photographed he said he'd might ask me to pose for him again. If it means I get to satiate my kink drive, I'm all for it!

Angry kitty

Thursday night Master and I had an excellent play session. It wasn't terribly fancy - mostly just tying up and spanking - but there were some new twists that I really enjoyed.

First Master had me take off my shirt and underwear, keeping on just my little green punk skirt. Then he bound my arms and legs with thick black rope, winding the rope down my arms and up my calves to keep me from twisting them. He blindfolded me and gave me an incredible spanking, switching between the wooden paddle, his hand, and the riding crop. Master was absolutely merciless, and he definitely pushed my pain tolerance. Then he fingered my bum; I can take two fingers now, though not very far.

After being fingered I realized I needed to pee, and I asked Master if I could go to the bathroom. "You may," he said. "Stand up." I struggled to my feet - still tied and blindfolded - and he slung me over his shoulder and carried me to the toilet. He left so I could pee, and when I was done he came back in. I was having trouble wiping because of how my wrists were tied, and he asked, "Do you need help?"

"Ummm... uh... yes," I admitted in a tiny voice. Master took the tissue from my hand and gently, ever so gently, wiped me clean. Then, just like that, he hoisted me over his shoulder again and carried me back to the bedroom, where he threw me down on the bed.

I think that was the tipping point for me. Needing help going to the bathroom had already made me feel deeply submissive; being bound, blindfolded, and completely disoriented as he tossed me around, depending entirely on his ability to keep me from harm - that sent me flying away into Kitten-land fast. Master lay down on the bed beside me and gave my butt a smack, making me mew. "There's my kitten," he murmured.

He fucked me hard and fast, and something about that night - I'm still not sure what - made me go a little crazy. I was yowling, clawing at the sheets, tearing at my bonds with my teeth. I wanted to rip something apart, to feel the rush that comes with destruction. I think it's called "displaced aggression" - when an animal is harassed by a dominant animal, they direct their frustration at something else (usually someone lower on the pecking order or an inanimate object) because they can't fight back. It was like that, but I wasn't mad at Master or anything. I loved it! I wanted to take all this energy, all this violence that he was pouring into me and direct it somewhere else to show him how fierce of a kitty he can make me.

Afterwards, Master held me as I trembled, stroking my skin and making reassuring noises. I was jumpy; I was on edge. When he touched me, I reflexively nipped at him, biting whatever was closest to my teeth. After this happened a couple times, Master decided he wouldn't have any more of it and grabbed the scruff of my neck, gently but firmly. I coiled, then relaxed under his grip; the energy dissipated, and all I wanted to do was fall into a deep, contented sleep.

Redecorating

Master has decided that he'd like to build some bondage furniture. He really like's the St. Andrew's cross (as do I!) but it's too difficult for people with minimal woodworking skills and tools (like us) to do.

I'd like to make a spanking bench out of an old sawhorse; I've also seen some lattice-type pieces that would be super-easy to make and lend themselves to a huge variety of standing positions.

The question is: where would we store it when it's not in use?

Things I have learned

Master and I didn't do the brother/sister roleplay the other night (that's tonight) but instead a nice, physical scene with some moderate bondage and other fun things. Anyway, Master introduced a few new things which I immensely enjoyed.

He tied my legs at the ankles with thick rope and then hoisted them up into the air while I was lying on my back on the bed so, though my body weight was still safely on the ground (well, bed), my legs were dangling in the air. He then tied my wrists and secured them to a rope on the other side of the room, so my arms were stretched out over my head. This was heavier bondage than what we usually do, but I loved it - especially the legs in the air bit, and especially when he started playing with my pussy. I'm not sure what it was, but something about my legs being suspended while that was going on made me feel like I was floating, even though I was lying securely on the bed. I can only imagine what one of those sex slings is like... too bad Master and I are too poor to buy one. *sad kitty* Maybe I could try making one from the instructions given in Screw the Roses...? If I had the time and materials, that is.

I've also discovered that I like the feeling of latex gloves - which is weird, because I generally don't like the feeling of condoms, which are pretty much the same thing. Master put on a latex glove when he fingered my bum, but before he did that he just ran the gloved hand over my body for a while, and it was amaaaazing. The texture undoubtedly has something to do with it, but I think it's also from the connotations: medical procedures, authority figures (vis doctors), evil experiements, that kind of thing. (Also, the condoms the school provides are pretty shitty, which no doubt contributes to my dislike of them.)

Master also wore a surgical mask, which added to the effect. It made him scary by obscuring his face, yet it emphasized his incredibly expressive (and beautiful) eyes - both dehumanizing and humanizing him at the same time. Wheeeee mind trip!

So: it seems I have a thing for suspention and medical fantasies. Who knew?

The only time when things weren't so fun was when Master first started fucking me while my legs were still strung up; he entered me too quickly and it started to hurt; combined with my feet starting to fall asleep from all the blood running out of them, it was too much and I had to call the safeword. After I was let down and given a few moments to collect myself, though, we were able to continue, albeit at a more subdued pace.

Though we often don't have the time or energy to do these kinds of scenes, they're by far my favorite. :3