...But not TOO out there.

I recently read an interview with Lady Gaga (I wouldn't call myself a "little monster," but I do think she does some cool stuff), and something in particular struck me as I was reading it. When the author presses Gaga about her recent subdermal body mods in her face and shoulders, and whether it might inspire her fans to get similar body mods, she says, "It's artistic expression.... It's a performance-art piece. I have never, ever encouraged my fans or anyone to harm themselves, nor do I romanticize masochism.... [M]y fans know me. They would never hurt themselves. And if they have hurt themselves, they come to me and say, 'Gaga, I want to stop, and your music helps me want to stop. Your music makes me want to love myself.' I am in no way promoting sadomasochism or masochism."

...Wait, what?

There's a drastic conflation of three disparate things here: BDSM, body modification, and self harm. The first is about consensual kink, which can manifest in countless ways; the second is about aesthetically altering one's appearance for myriad reasons; the third is about intentionally injuring oneself as a coping mechanism or as a symptom of mental illness. I'm sure there's some amount of overlap in these three populations - some people with tattoos self harm, some kinksters enjoy body mods - but I shouldn't have to point out that these are far from synonymous.

As a self-appointed figurehead/ambassador/idol for all the "monsters" of the world - all the "weirdos" and "freaks" and their myriad subcultures - I would expect Gaga to be aware of this. It's irresponsible of her not to; why would I want to be represented by someone who doesn't even understand me?

Unless she doesn't actually want to reach out to me and my kind at all; maybe, for all her messages of inclusiveness and accepting yourself as you are, there was an implicit "except for you people."

Wouldn't be the first time that's happened.

:/

It works out

Offbeat Home featured a fun post about how to appropriate the Iron Gym for other kinds of exercise. Master has one of these nifty fellers, and that immediately got me thinking.

-I wouldn't trust this as a swing; it's not meant to be permanent, and it's not meant to, um, swing on.

-I think this could work as a spreader bar, too. Maybe stick one's head through the middle part for a pseudo-yoke thing?

-However, I think having it in the doorway, and then having one's wrists tied to it, would be the best use. Now that neither of us are living in a place with exposed pipework in the ceiling, it's not as easy for Master to string me up, and I miss the sensation. While it didn't involve actual suspension, often times I would feel like I was dangling - like when I wanted to fall over from whatever he was doing, but was forced to remain at least partially erect.

Once Master gets his own place (he's in the process of moving), we'll have to try it out. Or I could get my own Iron Gym - they're quite useful for non-sexual reasons too, I've discovered. :)

I heart the internet. (All links NSFW)

I just started reading a webcomic called Menage a 3. I'm really enjoying it, especially the character Zee, as she is very much like I am/would like to be: unabashedly (bi)sexual, yaoi fangirl, enjoys porn of various types while still being critical of their shortcomings, and mistaken for a boy more often than she'd like. And she hates J-Pop. There are some bits that I didn't like, though. For example, taking naked pictures of someone without their knowledge is most definitely Not Cool. I'm still working through to the most recent strip, so we'll see how it turns out. Hilarious nerdy/sexy hijinks have abounded so far, though.

Secondly, Master is having me watch an instructional video about FMF threesomes by Nina Hartley. I'm recording my reactions to the video here as I watch it:

- When Nina says that porn is a reflection of people's actual fantasies, I think that's only partly true. I mean, obviously real people are making the porno, and they're probably basing it off their own fantasies (and the fantasies of people they know), but I'd argue that porno influences people's fantasies as much as the other way around. For example, there are positions that are used in porn because they allow good camera angles that are rather uncomfortable (or just meh) in terms of actual pleasure. I would also point to the prevalence of shaved pussies and money shots as trends that originated in porn and have since influenced real people's behavior.

- However, Nina is spot-on when she says that bringing a third person into the bedroom only to please your partner is a recipe for disaster, regardless of the genders involved. That's one of the reasons why we haven't had a MFM threesome yet; Master's straight (or at least he hasn't found a guy he'd like to have sex with yet), and so he wouldn't really enjoy having another guy there. And if he isn't enjoying himself, I'm not enjoying myself, so it would be bad news all around.

- Nina is also very insightful when she says that, in a perfect world, women wouldn't need the reassuring presence of a man to explore her same-sex attraction, but, because we live in the society that we do, a three-way is often the only way an otherwise-straight woman will be with a woman.

- Oh wow! She brought up the fact that female bisexuality is more prevalent/more accepted than male bisexuality because of the male gaze! And she advocates mutual enthusiastic consent! I like this lady!

- I feel kind of weird when she brings up that you should get to know the third partner before doing anything because Master and I kind of... didn't with Tapeti. We knew her for less than 24 hours before we had sex for the first time, and it's become a relationship that's lasted for over a year now. I suppose we're the exception to the rule.

- The demonstration with Nicole and Voodoo is very silly and goofy, like actual sex. You can tell they're not just following a script.

- Yay spanking! :D

- Master, Tapeti, and I tried the oral sex triangle (I don't know that position's "official" name), and it didn't really work out. Our proportions were too different for it to be comfortable. Though now that I'm watching them do it, maybe we should try again. With some better positioning maybe we'll be able to pull it off.

- Dammit, cameraman, I've seen heterosexual fellatio before! Zoom out so I can see what the third person is doing!

- I've seen other porn actors lightly tap the woman's pussy before, but I don't think I've ever had it done on me. I don't imagine it'd feel awesome, but I suppose I should give it a try first.

-I like that they ask/tell each other what they enjoy. Their conversation in general is really fun.

- OH GOD DON'T SLAP HIM THERE! (Though he apparently likes it, so... carry on, then.)

- Hahaha, I like how the guy randomly espouses the advantages of being uncut while he's got two ladies going down on him - and you'd never tell from his tone of voice, it's so calm and conversational.

- Hmm, one ball per lady while the guy jerks himself off. Might lead to some bumped noses, but it looks intriguing. I do greatly enjoy playing with balls.

- I'm also glad they don't completely edit out them putting on a condom and applying lube. Since porn is many people's first exposure to what sex is, it's good to establish that, yes, safety/comfort measures are a normal part of sex, too.

-The first position they fuck in is great for access to the lady's clit (by all parties) and good for voyeurism. However, I'll be the involved lady's legs would get tired really fast.

- God, I LOVE guiding Master's cock into Tapeti. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT.

- Oh man, spanking in time to fucking? GENIUS!

- Damn, Nina's in really good shape! I don't think I'd be able to hold that pose for as long as she does.

- Ah, the good ol' Napoleon's Hat. Always a good choice! Though I'm always afraid that my butthole will be all smelly when I'm the one receiving oral.

- Wow, Nicole gets a real rip-roaring orgasm when Nina uses the vibrator. I can sympathize - it's one of those "my clit is being so stimulated that I need to pull away/shield myself even though it's good stimulation" orgasms.

I stopped watching after the first demo - Master said the second one wasn't as good, and it's a looooong video. Overall, though, I was really pleased and impressed with it. It felt much more genuine than you usually find in porn; the fact that Nicole and Voodoo are actually wife and husband probably helped. They seemed pleasure-centered and spontaneous instead of scripted, and it was educational to boot. I'll have to look up more of Nina Hartley's work.

(PS, Is it bad if I automatically want to type "Nina Harker," as in the character from Dracula?)

Erotic fanfics/fanart

(All links in this post are NSFW)

While checking out a post with some very sexy, very well-drawn fanart of male Disney characters in underwear (Hello there, Tarzan!), I also happened upon a few Disney-based fanfics that I thought I'd share.

My, What a Guy! depicts a foursome between Gaston and the three blonde triplets in Beauty and the Beast. I enjoyed the use of French vocabulary, which was a nice change from the usual "manhood," "quivering center," and such. The tone was playful, in keeping with Gaston and the triplets' generally comedic role in the movie. However, the entrance of LeFou halfway through was just disturbing and a total turn-off.

A Matter of Pride (Trigger warning: attempted rape) is less an "erotic" fanfic and more an "adult" fanfic - that is, it's a re-interpretation of the middle portion of The Lion King with more adult themes, but not with any specific focus on titillation. Still, it was very well-written, and did a good job of balancing the human personalities of the characters with the reality of their animal nature.

A Cold Night in Agrabah is my least favorite, mostly because the author seems hell-bent on making sure we know that, despite the fact that Jasmine is being sexual with her tiger Rajah, she's still FAITHFUL to her ONE TRUE LOVE Aladdin and her HEART will ALWAYS BE WITH HIM. Yeah yeah yeah, just fuck your pet cat already, Jesus.

This untitled Little Mermaid fanfic (Trigger warning: explicit description of rape) is kind of like "A Matter of Pride" in that it's not really erotic - just a fanfic with explicitly adult themes. It explores an issue that the original movie didn't cover: that Ariel probably didn't know anything about human sex, and Prince Eric - given the time period this is set in - probably didn't give a shit. It's darkly humorous, or at least as humorous as a story about rape can be.