Friday, May 21, 2010

Dork alert!

Every summer I get a farmer's tan of sorts, with my extremities being much darker than my torso and a steady gradation between the two. I know normally this is to be avoided - hence tanning booths and so on - but I actually kind of like it. It makes me feel like a Siamese or Balinese cat. :3

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Bitchin' and whinin'

Man, Tapeti and Master got to meet up two times in a row, and I'm stuck... not having sex. Or even getting cuddles. :(

I know that I get to see both of them in a week, but still. They're off having fun while I'm stuck in the boonies.

This sucks.

I don't know how much longer I can handle this whole long-distance thing.

Not to mention that they get some together time for a whole week, while I only get a weekend that's mostly going to be taken up with moving out, travel, and the graduation ceremony. Fuck.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


Recently I have discovered that gently stroking/massaging/tickling the tip of the cervix feels REALLY DAMN GOOD.

I suggest everyone try it.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Erotic fanfics/fanart

(All links in this post are NSFW)

While checking out a post with some very sexy, very well-drawn fanart of male Disney characters in underwear (Hello there, Tarzan!), I also happened upon a few Disney-based fanfics that I thought I'd share.

My, What a Guy! depicts a foursome between Gaston and the three blonde triplets in Beauty and the Beast. I enjoyed the use of French vocabulary, which was a nice change from the usual "manhood," "quivering center," and such. The tone was playful, in keeping with Gaston and the triplets' generally comedic role in the movie. However, the entrance of LeFou halfway through was just disturbing and a total turn-off.

A Matter of Pride (Trigger warning: attempted rape) is less an "erotic" fanfic and more an "adult" fanfic - that is, it's a re-interpretation of the middle portion of The Lion King with more adult themes, but not with any specific focus on titillation. Still, it was very well-written, and did a good job of balancing the human personalities of the characters with the reality of their animal nature.

A Cold Night in Agrabah is my least favorite, mostly because the author seems hell-bent on making sure we know that, despite the fact that Jasmine is being sexual with her tiger Rajah, she's still FAITHFUL to her ONE TRUE LOVE Aladdin and her HEART will ALWAYS BE WITH HIM. Yeah yeah yeah, just fuck your pet cat already, Jesus.

This untitled Little Mermaid fanfic (Trigger warning: explicit description of rape) is kind of like "A Matter of Pride" in that it's not really erotic - just a fanfic with explicitly adult themes. It explores an issue that the original movie didn't cover: that Ariel probably didn't know anything about human sex, and Prince Eric - given the time period this is set in - probably didn't give a shit. It's darkly humorous, or at least as humorous as a story about rape can be.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Tech porn

In anticipation of Iron Man 2 (which I still have yet to see ;_; ), I re-watched Iron Man 1 with several of my friends the other day. It's a favorite of mine, and I think it and The Dark Knight exemplify the best of what a comic-book movie can be: either a joyful, silly romp or a dark, meditative exploration.

But Iron Man is more than just a silly romp (though it is very much that, and it revels in it). It's tech porn. I'd heard the term used before in reviews of the movie, and I understood what it meant, but I'd forgotten just how appropriate the term is. As I watched the camera lovingly and sensuously pan over the metallic body of Iron Man in the same way Michael Bay panned over Meagan Fox's body, I realized I wasn't just drooling over how cool and awesome the technology was (or would be, if it actually existed); I was actually getting turned on.

Well, that wouldn't be too unheard of, for me. I already knew I liked fantasies about robots and such. I half-jokingly mentioned my arousal to my friends (we don't hide much from each other), I was mildly surprised to learn that they all were similarly affected, even those not generally attracted to male figures.

I realized this should have been expected - that the creators of this movie had wanted to elicit this reaction (hence "tech porn"). After all, Iron Man is undeniably a phallic figure; not only is he literally hard as steel, but he represents (Tony Stark's/the US's) masculinity via physical and economic strength, as well as superior intellect. As most of society is taught to be attracted to masculinity, whether subjectively ("I want to be like that") or objectively ("I want that in my partner"), it makes sense that most would respond sexually to that.

Given this, I decided to look for Iron Man porn. As in actual porn. Given that Rule 34 has applied to some of the most bizarre and obscure things one can think of (a dragon fucking a sports car? turkey sandwiches? what?), I figured it wouldn't be too difficult to find. After all, all one would need to do is add a red-and-yellow cock to the suit and stick it in whomever one chose.

And yet I found nothing.

Not a single metal cock in sight.

I found a few pics of Pepper Pots and Tony Stark, but nothing that blatantly sexualized the actual suit, which I found odd. The Autobots and Decepticons have plenty of dicks and pussies to go around; couldn't they spare one for Iron Man?

So why aren't there any porno pics of the suit? I doubt complexity of the suit's design is a deterrent to any would-be artists, as many of the beautiful renditions on DeviantArt prove. Perhaps it's because sexual objectification is antithetical to the phallic symbol of Iron Man? Indeed, many of the fan art I found made a point of de-emphasizing the would-be genital area on the suit as much as possible; even a Ken doll has more of a bulge than some of these depictions (when the bulge is even visible and not hidden by a posed leg or arm, that is). But I don't think that male sexuality is mutually exclusive with the phallus - and Tony Stark's hyper-active sexuality would seem to make such a connection even more plausible.

Maybe Tony Stark/Iron Man represent a dichotomous version of masculinity: the explicitly sexual Stark, who exerts his power over women (Pepper Potts and his various "conquests") vs. the apparently asexual Iron Man, who exerts his power over men (the bad guys). Thus, the simultaneous sexualization/de-sexualization of Tony Stark/Iron Man may be an attempt to remove any homoeroticism, which seems to run rampant among super heroes in general. And we all know how "dangerous" homosexuality is to traditional masculinity.

Conversely, perhaps Iron Man was so explicitly "pornified" in the movie that to make Rule 34 of him was redundant, like making pornographic fan art of... porn. Why not just use the original material?

Or, perhaps, I just fail at searching for it.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Good info to share

I've been volunteering at a women's shelter in town, and in their informational materials they had some great resources regarding abuse/assault in queer relationships. They also had a list of warning signs and myths about abuse in BDSM relationships, which I thought I'd share here. This comes from the Survivor-Centered Advocacy for Trans Survivors of Violence at the FORGE Forward 2007 Conference.

Abuse is not S/M and S/M is not abuse
Whether you are topping, bottoming, or both, these are some questions to ask yourself:
  • Is your partner turned on by violating your limits or terms?
  • Does your partner not use a safeword, and then later say you violated their limits?
  • Does your partner claim to know more about your s/m "energy" than you do?
  • Does your partner try to extend a dynamic outside of a scene without your consent?
  • Does your partner expect you to read their mind about what they want?
  • Does your partner refuse to talk about what felt wrong or confusing to you about a scene?
  • Does your partner negotiate while in role when you haven't agreed to do that?
  • Do you feel like you're playing because you have to?
  • Does your partner involve others in your scenes without asking?
  • Does your partner say you pushed them too far even though you stayed within the limits you negotiated?
  • Does your partner humiliate you by talking about your play in public without your consent?
  • Does your partner use arousal or orgasm as evidence of consent?
  • Do you feel fear or dread about ending a scene or setting a limit?
  • Does your partner say you're not "real" for wanting to switch, or do they pressure you into switching?
  • Are you confused about when a scene begins and ends?
  • Do you feel that if you could just play better, be hotter or give/take more, everything would be okay?
  • Does your partner use scenes to suppress or cover up anger and frustration?
S/M play is consensual; abuse is not consensual.
S/M play is negotiated and agreed upon ahead of time; abuse is not negotiated.
S/M has responsible limits and safety rules; abuse has no rules or limits and there are no safewords.
S/M is fun, erotic and loving; abuse is manipulative, selfish, and hurtful.
S/M play is enjoyable by both; victims do not enjoy abuse.
S/M play can be stopped by either partner at any time; abuse cannot be stopped by the victim.
Players exchange power in agreed-upon roles with negotiated boundaries; abusers force control using non-consensual manipulation and violence.
S/M creates a bond of trust; abuse destroys trust.

Adapted from the Northwest Network, 2001
So yeah. Spread this around, if you like. Awareness is the first (and arguably most important) tool in fighting and stopping abuse, no matter what community it occurs in.

Monday, May 3, 2010

New experiences

I had my first professional spanking the other night! A goth club in my hometown has regular bondage nights with prodommes, and I went with Lupa. I wanted to get her a spanking, but she was too shy - no one else had gone up yet. So I went first.

The mistress was so sweet; she asked me how much experience I had, whether I was wearing underwear and whether it would be okay to expose said underwear, whether she could use a paddle, how I was doing, if she could hit harder, and so on. And she gave me a hug afterwards. :) AND SHE WAS SO PRETTY. My goodness.

But she also hit really hard. After she shackled my wrists up by my head and tilted me forward (she had a dentist chair-like thing; riding it was very trippy), she warmed up my bottom with a lot of quick, gentle slaps. That actually felt really nice - almost like a massage. But then she really went to town. She used her hand, mostly, and a leather paddle with hearts cut out of it. She took a couple thwacks with a wooden paddle, too, but she went easy with that. Even so, she definitely pushed me; maybe I'm just out of practice, but I don't think I've taken that severe of a paddling in a while, if ever. My bum was still red the next day! But it wasn't especially sore, remarkably enough.

The public aspect was... almost a non-issue. Like, even though it was the first time I'd scened in front of strangers, I was very comfortable and enjoyed myself too much to be embarrassed. And I was able to be as loud as I wanted! That was very nice.

I also met up with a guy I've been chatting with on FetLife. He's a fellow photo buff, though he does digital instead of darkroom. It's the first time in a while I've talked to someone from that site who didn't seem like a total creeper! Though I'm glad that I've met someone who I'd actually like to be friends with, I'm kind of sad that I have to wade through so many, "Hey baby I like ur profile hurr hurr hurr," comments. *sigh*

Also got to see Master, albeit briefly, and we had lunch with my folks. Pretty sure we've successfully maintained the illusion to all three of our families that we each only have one partner. Heh. I'm sad Master and I only had time for sex once, though. :( Of course, he's been teasing me mercilessly about my sex drive, even though his is just as high. I'm sorry, but once a month is not going to cut it! I'm fairly certain most would agree, too.

But I'm going to go visit him in just a few weeks, and then he'll be up for my college graduation. So the dry spell won't be quite as long this time.