I'm still trying to make sense of what happened the other day. I know I didn't enjoy it at all, that Master pushed me way further than he had before, much more quickly than he ever had before. So why didn't I use the safeword?
It certainly wouldn't have been the first time. I don't think I was afraid of "insulting" or "disappointing" Master - he's always praised me for using the safeword when I needed to. I didn't forget the word in the heat of the moment, and I debated fiercely with myself whether I should use it.
Should I say it?
Maybe I should...
But I don't like this!
I never gave myself a reason why I shouldn't say the safeword. I still don't know why I didn't.
I still don't know if I should have.