Monday, April 4, 2011


There are some songs I like that, whether because of the music video or the lyrics or je ne sais quoi, really trigger the kinky side(s) of me when I hear them. While I don't generally have a "soundtrack" or background music of any sort when I scene (or if I do, it's not chosen specifically to get me in the "kinky" mood), I do enjoy the subby or dommy feelings that these songs elicit when I'm in the car, or at work, or anywhere that I happen to hear them. It's a way to indulge my kinkiness anywhere I please without getting arrested! :D

First, let's get the obvious one out of the way: Rihanna's "S&M"

Yeah, I know this one's almost too easy. I haven't really looked at how the kink community responded to this song, so I don't know what kind of critiques it's faced. (Though I'd be interested to read them, if anyone would be so kind as to point me in the right direction.) I imagine the most obvious is the usual "appropriating kink just for shock value/sales," but for some reason I feel this isn't the case (as much as it usually is, anyway).

This video discards most of the kink stereotypes - there isn't a black leather catsuit to be seen! - and has several kinks featured that are generally ignored outside the scene, like mummification in plastic wrap. And that's why I like this video. It feels more like how I actually experience kink much of the time - bright and fun and chaotic and goofy. None of that gloomy dungeons-and-leather stuff. (Not that there's anything wrong with that! I'm just usually not in the mood for it.)

It also hits on several specific kinks of mine: shibari, mummification, petplay, flogging, and being put on display. (Not sure if that counts as exhibitionism? It has a different feel to it than what I associate with the term.)

Also, I'd be topped by Rihanna. Any day.

Next up: Katy Perry's "E.T."

There's a lot to criticize about Katy Perry - I am incredibly ambivalent and uncomfortable about her (in?)famous "I Kissed A Girl" for reasons that deserve their own post - but this song and video only make me go, "OMG YES YES WANT."

This one's interesting because it throws my fetishes at odds with each other, kind of, but in a neat way. I'm very turned on by the idea of abduction by an alien creature, so when I see Katy Perry's alien (OMG THOSE EYES *SWOONS*) I want to be dominated by it/her. Yet it's the alien who's singing about being dominated. (by a human?) So I simultaneously empathize with the alien and am objectifying it.

The mixture of both death and life imagery, and tying both in with sexual ecstasy, is also very appealing to me because, on those occasions where I'm not in the mood for happy-bubbly-funtimes kink, I feel kink is a way to explore existential issues. Pain is also pleasure; life is also death. (Le petit mort, anyone?) These contradictory concepts are part of what makes kink appealing.

Also, human-animal hybrids! YUM!

Next: Lady GaGa's "Teeth"

This one also arouses contradictory feelings in me, in that it appeals to both my dommy and my subby side. On the one hand, GaGa sings about "[loving] you with my hands tied," says "my religion is you," and entreats the listener to "take a bite of my bad girl meat," and "show me your fangs," which suggests she's bottoming to an aggressive creature - something I empathize with, of course.

On the other hand, she commands, "Open your mouth, boy," and reassures him, "Don't be scared; I've done this before." Indeed, the oft-repeated imperative, "Show me your teeth," is pretty dommy - think of how vulnerable we all are when we're lying in the dentist's chair! It invokes the image of GaGa (or me >:3) leering over a helpless man* strapped to a chair, one hand forcing his mouth open for inspection, like a horse at a market.

I'm a little hesitant to post this last one, but for the sake of being honest: Kanye West's "Monster" (TRIGGER WARNING: Graphic depictions of violence against women.)

I first saw this video on Feministing in a post taking him to task for the shockingly violent imagery he has in this video. I think the poster has a good point that the narrative of white women are victims/black women are animals (and black men love to rape/kill white women) is incredibly problematic and not nearly as "edgy" or "avant-garde" as I'm sure Kanye was hoping to be.

And yet... I love werewolves. I love seeing "masculine" werewolf traits expressed in women, especially, and I'm fascinated by the monstrous in general. Plus the dualism of Nikki Minaj's scene, where she torments herself, really plays with my switchiness (Do I empathize with the top or bottom? Is she top or bottom? Both!) - and those fangs! *fans self* And the scene where Kanye is being grabbed by the dozens of hands, and you can tell that he's enjoying it even as they nearly overpower him... mm-mmm.

What songs or music videos appeal to your kinky side?

*Interestingly, my dommy fantasies are almost exclusively about dominating men, while I fantasize about subbing to men and women about equally; to make it more complicated, in practice I've almost never topped a man - only women.

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