Fragile

I'm out-of-state for the summer, living with extended family. I only see them once every handful of years, so we're not terribly close. To be very blunt, I don't have any friends here.

It's like I was floating around in a little bubble of isolation - serene, calm, content with the everyday, superficial interaction with people at work, on the train, whatever. At home I had the forced familiarity of roommates, mixed with the forced familiarity of family relation.

Then I met this guy during a Fourth of July festival. We started talking and walked around the main drag after the fireworks before exchanging numbers and going our separate ways. I told Master about it, and he seemed amused more than anything.

But I've been all out of sorts. Having been faced with the possibility of an actual friend - the first one in over a month - I'm all a-fluster. I don't know what to do! I've never made friends outside of an academic context. I don't know how this whole "calling back" thing works. Add to this that I have a boyfriend I should tell the person about, which I also don't know how to do politely/effectively and don't even have the resources of mainstream society to learn from.

But I do really want a friend. My bubble's been popped; I'm no longer insulated against the sting of loneliness. Nggggh.