Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Visibility

I recently got my hair cut. Whereas before it was about chin-length, it's now in a pixie cut - no more than a couple inches.

Whereas I wear the same types of clothing that I did before - relatively androgynous cargo-shorts-and-tee-shirt getup - I seem to draw stares and attention that I didn't when my hair was longer. I think it's because my old hair length was enough to put me in the "acceptably feminine" category. Now I've strayed "too far" into butch territory; I'm suddenly, visibly queer.

It's an interesting reminder of how much gender and sexuality is still policed in our society; while I haven't actually been accosted, I can feel the stares of people - particularly men - on me when I go about my business. I don't think they know what to make of me. And, being the rebellious person that I am, it makes me want to push those gender boundaries even more. I'll give you something to stare at, I think.

I feel a little more at home in queer spaces, too. Less like an impostor; more like I belong there. I get knowing smiles from other visibly queer women when I pass them. Too bad I still don't know how to approach ladies. >.<

It's interesting how such a small, superficial thing can have such a large social impact.

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