Tuesday, April 15, 2008

A few things you should know about me

1. I do not think that BDSM sex is somehow better or superior to vanilla sex. You may find this hard to believe, but I actually partake of vanilla sex fairly regularly. I just happen to like kinky stuff, too. I understand, however, that not everybody likes it. That's cool by me. I don't want to make others play with whips and chains any more than I want someone to make me have sex with an eggplant.

2. My self-esteem is perfectly healthy, thank you. I knew that I was/am a beautiful, healthy, intelligent, funny, sexy woman before I met Master, and I still know it now that I'm with him - and not "because" of him or "despite" him, for my self-esteem is neither dependent on him nor threatened by him. (In fact, he calls me "beautiful/healthy/funny/etc." all the damn time. It's quite nice.)

3. I was never abused in any way as a child. I wasn't spanked, either. I had/have one of the most loving, supportive families you can possibly find. Daddy issues are not the source of my deriving pleasure from being spanked.

4. I know what the symptoms of an abusive relationship are. One of the biggest warning signs is when the abuser tries to isolate the victim from friends and family and/or control who the victim associates with. Master does neither of these things. In fact, he does the opposite - he encourages me to get out into the world and meet new people.

5. Yes, I can and do consent to what Master does to me. The reality of the situation is, I still retain control over my body at all times. If I don't like what is going on, I say the safeword and Master stops. Immediately. No questions asked - except for a concerned, "Are you okay?" He has never and will never pressure me to continue once I've made clear I don't like whatever is happening.

This wasn't inspired by anything in particular; I've just been reading blogs by various crazy anti-BDSM, anti-hetero, anti-anything-that-isn't-non-penetrative-vanilla-lesbian-sex "feminists" over the past few days.

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